They See Me Rollin', They Hatin'

For years, my friends have jokingly (I hope) called me ✨Hell on Wheels✨. They're usually referring to the merciless terror I invoke with my wheelchair, speeding up to people and grinding to a halt with millimeters to spare before my footplate rams into their shins. I never actually hit them (I promise!) but it never gets old watching their life flash before their eyes.

As fun as that meaning is though, I'm thrilled to say it's taken on a brand new one in the past few months. I'm learning to drive!

Eeeek!! To me, driving is the epitome of freedom. I knew it would open up a whole new world of independence and road to adulthood (haha, get it-- road) for me, even more so than for the average teen. Growing up, I often had to swallow my pride and accept help for simple tasks I sometimes couldn't do on my own (like going to the restroom, taking notes for class, opening doors, etc.), so the thought of being able to transport myself from one place to another without help or permission from anyone sounded like a literal dream. A wonderful but impossible one.

For most people, the process of becoming a driver is relatively straight-forward and an expected rite-of-passage. It's a pretty simple process. The person does drivers' ed, gets a permit, practices for a few months, then takes a test and get their license: bada-bing-bada-boom.

And then there's me.

When this subject arose several years ago (I was 15 when it was first brought up; now I'm almost 20 and only began driving this past November), there were sooo many questions and complications to find answers for.

Can Rachel even drive? Is it safe? Is it too exhausting? What about the logistics? Is she even tall enough to see over the wheel? Mobile enough to turn her head to check her blindspot? What if, God forbid, she gets into an accident? Or even just gets hurt while she's out alone? Will she have to get an electric car since the gas pump is too heavy and awkward for her? What about her wheelchair? What if she wants a power chair one day, which would completely change the type of car she needs? Managing the doors? It was endless.

And so, it was chronically put off until the pandemic happened. I decided there was no time like the present to sit down and start working this out for real. I did my research, worked on making myself as physically strong as possible, and even did test runs like go with my mom to see if systems meant to help drivers with special needs (like gas station laws where they're required to help you pump gas) are actually reliable in real life-- spoiler alert: they're not.

Nevertheless, I was a different, stronger person than I was at 15, and we could start to see a path toward making this thing happen even with the endless list of problems. It was actually conceivable I could accomplish this. Then shit got hard (as per usual).

To show how complex a simple life milestone like this is for me, I sat down and wrote out, step-by-step, everything I have done/will do for this project. It's a LOT.

Here it is color-coded to make it easier to understand how extra this whole thing is.

green = Normal(ish) steps to become a driver

purple = My added steps to become a driver aka not normal steps

Okay here we go. Feel free to scroll through. It's a long ride folks:

1. Convince Mom to let me try and if I die in the process, I will die happy

2. Do driver's ed

3. Get a learner's permit

4. Go to the doctor, get clearance to drive, and get advice on which adaptable driving place to go to

5. Reach out to said driving place

6. Get form from driving place for doctor to fill out

7. Go back to doctor, doctor fills out form

8. Take form to driving center

9. Find out that driving center distributed the wrong form, receives the new, correct form

10. Very guiltily reach out to doctor for a THIRD time to fill out new, correct form

11. Spend approximately four months trying to obtain damn new form from doctor

12. Eventually succeed and call driving place to schedule evaluation appointment

13. Wait 5 weeks

14. FINALLY be granted an appointment date and get her lovely father to drive 50 minutes to the driving rehabilitation center; this is where she will be evaluated and fitted for an adapted car, and where an occupational therapist and driving instructor in tandem will teach how to drive

15. Receive a complete metal and physical evaluation assessing cognitive capabilities to drive (even though I have never had cognitive impairments) and mobility capabilities/ needed accommodations both to drive and to transfer self and wheelchair in and out of a vehicle

16. Beg not to be condemned to a mini van (I am not a 40-year-old mom having a mid-life crisis, thank you very much)

17. Have driving team laugh and say 'we'll see'

18. Enter training car and have specialists tweak everything

19. Learn to drive!!

20. Takes training vehicle to DMV and try to get away with not transferring independently with wheelchair into the car by the evaluator (a safety requirement that I can't do in the training vehicle but will be able to do in the permanent car)

21. Get away with it and pass test!!

22. Research car that will best suit needs and purchase

23. Take car to special vendor who will install necessary accommodations

24. Take newly accessible car back to driving center and get it safety checked

25. Get comfy driving in personal car and be (hopefully) home free!!!!!!

Right now I'm almost done with step 19, and am preparing at long last to take my test and get my own car. I still have a few things to figure out, like transferring independently and figuring out a mechanical system for getting my chair in the trunk, and the jury's still out on the mini van, but we're in the home stretch. Here's to being a new kind of ✨Hell on Wheels✨!

a) A reduced effort steering wheel, platform for feet, grip knob, hand controls for gas and brakes, turn-signal extender

b) Rachel with a chest harness on to prevent tilting and reduce jerkiness when quick stops occur

c) A short little vid of the culmination of years of work! It may look underwhelming to you, but I cannot express how symbolic and big of a deal this is for me :)